I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
