Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Randomize
