Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

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(904): View more from Florida

Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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(607): View more from New York

Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.

(426): View more from

So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

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(801): View more from Utah

I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.

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(954): View more from Florida

I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!

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