So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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