I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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