Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
