yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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