You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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