I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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