college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Can I color on your dick again?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
