Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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