"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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