where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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