Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't turn off my feet"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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