I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
