Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
