I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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