the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
