I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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