69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
