Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Randomize
