That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
