No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
