So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
