Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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