Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
