Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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