i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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