I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
