when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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