Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
