you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
