I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
