but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
