At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize