I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
