he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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