I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
