How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
