How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize