Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
