You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
