Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
