Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
