Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Shame - the story of my life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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