Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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