Buhtt sex?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Found your dick twin last night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
