You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
