I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
