I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Im part way to drunk.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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