I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
