I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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