his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
