Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
