im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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