Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
