Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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