Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
