fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She bit a glass in half.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
