just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
