I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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