May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
