Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
