Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
